Posted on March 16th, 2015 by Dr. Andra Brosh

images-4We’ve all done it. Taken a picture and then edited it to make it look better than the original. This idea of changing something from it’s original form into something more acceptable translates to your real life as well.

The image you have of yourself is no different than the image you produce on your phone.

When you look at yourself, and decide that you’re not quite good enough, and want to erase your imperfections, you’re editing out pieces of yourself that make you who you are.

This unsatisfactory perspective of yourself and your life put you at risk for unhappiness because you end up perpetually chasing an image that you see as “better”.

Acceptance of what’s wrong with you is an essential part of your personal growth.

Denying the aspects of yourself you despise or wish could be different doesn’t erase them. It actually just makes you feel worse because you end up living inauthentically.

Feeling like you have to hide parts of yourself to be accepted means you’re severing important pieces of your “self” leaving you fragmented and living a half-lived life.

Why do you hide aspects of yourself?

You were born not caring about external approval or looking good. You were just simply and purely you. As you grew older you became more and more aware of how others perceptions and approval of you felt good or hurt.

The parts that seemed to invoke pain slowly became closeted as a protective measure against the hurt.

Over time you learned to present a “version” of yourself to the world that you could be sure would be accepted.

So what happened to those other pieces of you that were relegated to the dark recesses of your being?

Nothing. They still exist and long to come out.

Self-acceptance is more important than external acceptance even though as social beings we thrive and feel best when we can be part of a group.

However, the price you pay to belong is high when it means disconnecting from yourself.

The truth is that if you’re not fully accepted and honored for who you are in your life than you’re not in the right place.

Yes you can always be improving and using introspection to become a better person, but this isn’t the same as disowning parts of yourself to fit in.

Embrace your flaws, imperfections, and quirks because they are what make you unique and interesting.

This is your humanness, your authenticity, and your truth.

Continue filtering pictures to enhance the image your project of your life, but stop editing and filtering who you are.

The world needs the real you not a version of who you think you should be.

March 16th, 2015

Posted In: Andra Brosh, Love, Men, Relationships, Therapy

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