Iâ€™m sure you can remember the last time you felt lost and destitute without love in your life. You felt untethered and alone because without love you feel separate and lack a sense of belonging to something greater.
Love allows you to feel connected, hopeful, and inspired. Whether itâ€™s positive or negative, when you have love in your life you are alive and maintain a sense of purpose.
To feel unloved (or unlovable) is the most profound existential crisis you could have.
So how do we ensure that we are never without love? The only way to sustain love in your world is to embody it. This is more than self-love; itâ€™s developing what I call Wholesome Love.
Wholesome love is limitless, transparent, unconditional and pure. This form of love is inherent in every human being from the moment of birth. Itâ€™s not something you learn or earn; itâ€™s an organic part of being human. Itâ€™s always with you even when you defend against it or donâ€™t feel it from other people.
Itâ€™s fairly inevitable that you have been hurt at some point in your life. Whether that hurt was intentional or you were the casualty of someone elseâ€™s cruelty, you learned that love can be dangerous and painful. Over the course of your life your natural Wholesome Love transformed into â€œContingent Loveâ€.
Contingent Love and Wholesome love can appear the same on the surface, but when defined more specifically you can see how different they really are.
Expecting something in return for the love you express.
Withdrawing love when you donâ€™t get what you want.
Expecting an equal exchange of love like itâ€™s a commodity.
Only showing love to those who â€œdeserve itâ€.
Shutting down when love hurts.
Defending against the non-loving feelings of others.
Loving from your Ego.
Using love as a form of power.
Remaining open to love in the face of adversity.
Seeing everyone as deserving of love.
Feeling love toward all living beings.
Giving love freely without a vested interest in a return.
Loving yourself so you can love others.
Recognizing that you donâ€™t have to â€œlikeâ€ to â€œloveâ€.
Focusing on giving love instead of receiving love.
Bringing the intention of love into every situation.
Practicing Wholehearted Love is not easy particularly when you have been habitually hurt, and trained to believe that love is something to acquire from the outside. As you learn to view love as a flowing energy you will realize that all you have to do is get out of your own way to let it unfold.
Realizing that love begins within, and that itâ€™s abundance is available to everyone regardless of history and story, will shift you into a Wholehearted relationship with love.
Dr. Andra Brosh November 20th, 2014
Posted In: Andra Brosh