Posted on January 28th, 2014 by Dr. Andra Brosh

flowerincrackAs a therapist, cancer survivor and divorce support counselor I know quite a bit about being broken open.

I was making breakfast the other morning and I decided to have a fried egg. I heated the oil in the pan and cracked the eggshell letting the yellow yolk and surrounding white spread out as it began to sizzle. I looked at the beautiful, bright color of the egg yolk and it reminded me of how so much beauty can come from something after it’s been cracked open.

I cannot think of a more profound metaphor for the many life encounters where we become opened by an experience that exposes the deep beauty of our insides. It’s a common tendency for all of us to associate cracked or broken with damaged goods or a needed repair.

How easy it is to forget that a crack is an opening, and an opportunity to see the inside of something that may never have been exposed before.

If you think of your outer self as the shell to your inner self you will realize how fragile that protection can be. Your heart is like the egg yolk. It sits inside you all soft and mushy waiting for someone to crack you open so it can spill out in a puddle of love like the yolk in the pan.

Then there are the times where your shell gets cracked so unexpectedly and aggressively that your heart breaks as a result of the blunt force trauma you have no choice but to receive.

Regardless of how you get broken open, it’s an opportunity to see what’s inside.

Most of the time we walk gently through the world with a sense of fragility and a fear of being crushed. We avoid anything that might cause the slightest fracture because the idea of living amongst the broken pieces seems intolerable.

The most detrimental result is an internal hardening that comes from a shell that has been left unbroken too long. Just like an egg, the beautiful and tasty inside parts become rotten and toxic.

You’re designed to be broken; to be cracked, and crushed.

You’re protective shell is there to make the pain of everyday life bearable, and you’re not forever damaged when it cracks.

You’re not Humpty Dumpty.

Most of us wait to be broken open by circumstance, but we all have the chance to crack at any time. You have a choice of living inside your protective shell forever, or putting yourself in situations that might crack you open.

And when you do, don’t focus on the broken. Instead look at what is revealed because this is where you will find your unexplored truth, your untapped strength, and your deepest vulnerability.

January 28th, 2014

Posted In: Cancer, Divorce, Infidelity, Love, Marriage, My Experience, Relationships, Therapy

One Comment

  • Sally Evans says:

    Dear Andra, it was so reassuring to hear your story as I am facing a similar situation currently. I am a Brit who had been living in SF for the past 7 years with my husband of 12 years. I was working in a large out patient hospital supporting PCP’s as a Marriage and Family Therapist. I discovered that my husband was having an affair with a mutual friend. We tried to work on this in couple therapy but my husband’s narcissistic tendencies made this very difficult and he decided to stop attending the sessions. I was then diagnosed with breast cancer, I fear I had held for many years as my Mother had passed away from breast cancer when I was in my late 20’s. I decided, with the help of family, to move back to the UK after surgery. I find myself grieving many things in my life, trying to rebuild myself after invasive chemotherapy and radiation treatments. It very much helps to see your beautiful website and the work that you are doing after such life changing events. It gives me hope. Warmly, Sally

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