Posted on January 21st, 2014 by Dr. Andra Brosh

images-5“All this talk about equality. The only thing people really have in common is that they are all going to die.” – Bob Dylan

Sometimes life seems very unfair until I realize that it’s supposed to be.

How many times have you become indignant about someone else’s behavior or actions? How many times have you felt completely irate over something not going your way?

I’m sure there are countless incidents of unfairness for all of us. Even though we know that the idea of all things being even is completely unrealistic, we somehow still expect that life should pan out like a winning hand of cards each and every time we play.

We’ve all heard it before…Life isn’t fair.

The idea of that sucks because if we can’t count on life being fair then how are we supposed to manage our feelings of jealousy and inferiority?

How can we deal with the very real fact that not everyone will see or do things the way we need them to?

How can we exist in a state of constant differentials where there will always be someone better or worse off?

How do we make sense of the things that happen to us even though we feel they shouldn’t?

The answer to these questions is quite simple.

Focus on equality not fairness.

“Before God we are all equally wise – and equally foolish.” – Albert Einstein

You and I are equal, but that doesn’t mean things between us will be even or fair. It might feel unfair to me that your ability to make more money affords you the luxury of a business class seat on an airplane, but if I remember that we both want to land safely at the destination then I’m choosing to focus on equality.

I am you, and you are I.

We are fundamentally the same because we are both human.

Both of us have hearts, feel pain, and need air to breathe, but we forget this when we take a zero-sum worldview where more for you equates with less for me. Seeing the world through a lens of equality promotes compassion, generosity, collaboration and hope.

Seeing the world as being fair or unfair is founded in a black and white perspective where someone is always losing out.

If you feel you deserve more, or believe you’re entitled to some particular outcome because of who you are or what you’ve done then you are sure to experience life as unfair.

Your Prescription:

Move from comparing to gratitude.

See other people’s success as your own.

Be unique but not separate.

Focus on abundance not scarcity.

January 21st, 2014

Posted In: Cancer, Divorce, Infidelity, My Experience, Therapy, Tips, Wellbeing

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