I remember deciding to leave my marriage. After months and months of trying to make it work, I got to a point where I couldnâ€™t stay any longer. It wasnâ€™t my choice to end the marriage, but my partner made it impossible for me to stay. The decision to walk away from something I had been so committed to was torturous because there was a part of me that would not let go of the idea that it could be saved.
I knew the ship was sinking fast, and I tried really hard to scoop out the water, but ultimately I got to a point where I had to jump. With no life raft waiting for me, I chose to plunge into the deep, murky waters of a new life that would be completely different than what I had planned.
People in therapy often ask me how they can know when itâ€™s time to stop trying and give up on saving a marriage. My answer is always the same: There may come a time when you know you canâ€™t stand it any longer. It may coincide with a loss of integrity and a fear of losing yourself in something you intuitively know is not healthy for you. There is no set time frame; itâ€™s different for every person and every unique situation. Read on.
Dr. Andra Brosh February 3rd, 2014