Posted on October 25th, 2013 by Dr. Andra Brosh

“To begin by always thinking of love as an action rather than a feeling is one way in which anyone using the word in this manner automatically assumes accountability and responsibility.” – Bell Hooks

My quest for love happens daily on both a personal and professional level. I seek to understand its meaning conceptually, and I’m constantly learning how to actualize it in my interpersonal relationships.

me&maeLove has been an ongoing inquiry for me because like you, I need love like I need air and water. While I know I can “survive” without love, research in Neuroscience has taught me that healthy development, and adaptive adjustment rely on this fundamental human capacity.

Perceiving love as a need rather than a desire (or something to aspire to) allows me to approach it like I would any other aspect of my well being. As something essential and necessary.

Love has become a practice for me, not a goal or requirement to feel whole.

Like yoga, meditation, or playing an instrument, if I continually practice love I see myself progressing and deepening my understanding of its nuances. I follow the fundamental guidelines that others before me have established, but create my own version and unique style that authentically represents me.

Love only becomes a struggle when I practice with the wrong people, try and perfect it, or resist the humility that comes with realizing I will never master it.

Here are five truths I have come to appreciate about love while being a practitioner:

I know I can’t and will never conquer love. I am a student of love because it teaches me things about myself and the world regularly.

Looking at love as something to practice means that I’m never at its mercy. It is up to me to have it or give it at anytime.

IMG_4694-1Real love is not in disguise. It’s not always obvious, but in its true form it’s transparent.

Fear and love are synonymous. I don’t have to be afraid of love because I am fully aware of the fact that it will bring me both joy and pain.

Love is an inside out practice. Loving myself is a prerequisite for feeling loved and loving others.

Making love a practice not only makes it available to you at all times, but it opens the door to your own personal inquiries about love.

How do you show it? How do you know it? How do you feel it?

Develop your love practice this week, and remember to make it an exploration and an investigation, not an acquisition.

October 25th, 2013

Posted In: Communication, Love, Marriage, My Experience, Relationships, Therapy

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