Posted on October 14th, 2014 by Dr. Andra Brosh

1994817“It’s fine to celebrate success but it is more important to heed the lessons of failure.” – Bill Gates

Being perfect is overrated, and ultimately impossible.

No matter how hard you try to do things just right or in a way that’s construed as acceptable there are always going to be moments of failure.

It’s not your fault because society has taught you to pursue ultimate success and avoid failure. Doing things well is ultimately what gets rewarded.

If you’re perfect you’ll be accepted, honored, praised and even loved. If you make mistakes or fail at a task you’re very often scolded, judged, pitied or shamed.

Success in our society is tied to getting to the top, and proudly standing above the competition. The drive to succeed (or win) comes from many forms of inspiration and pursuable goals, but what almost always lurks beneath the surface is the intense avoidance of failure…and for good reason.

What if we were rewarded for failing? What would it be like if we lived in a world that valued the mistakes and mess ups as much as the accomplishments and achievements? Would we all be less motivated, or less stressed?

I will admit that I have had a lifetime filled with failures and mistakes in spite of my pursuit of perfection. No matter how hard I try to do things “right”, I continue to experience small and big failures because they’re unavoidable.

Getting things wrong, losing, screwing up and failing are all seen as negatives, but they are actually moments of true success that should be rewarded and encouraged.

Every time you experience a small failure or setback you’re given the opportunity to come back even stronger. You’ve been given knowledge and information that doing it perfectly would not offer.

I truly believe that there’s a direct correlation between failing and succeeding with the the ladder being dependent on the first. The more we can allow ourselves to fail, the more successful we’ll be.

If failing and making mistakes were rewarded there would be no risk in trying, putting yourself out there, or taking on challenges that might not have the desired results.

If you didn’t have to worry about being perfect and doing everything well than you would feel more free to explore and challenge your limits making the experience more important than the outcome.

If a fear of failure has been holding you back, or if perfectionism is your ultimate goal, take time to reframe failure as success.

Instead of beating yourself up for getting something wrong, ask what you can learn from the experience. You can only fail yourself by not honoring your imperfections and your natural human capacity to make mistakes.

Failure is defined in the dictionary as falling short, not completing a task, or the inability to perform.

It’s never defined in terms of character, and it’s not defined in the context of being a good or bad person.

To fail is to be human, and to be human is unavoidable so set an intention to accept this fact and see how it changes your experience of yourself and your present life.

October 14th, 2014

Posted In: Divorce, Relationships, Tips, Wellbeing

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *