Maybe it’s eating that extra cookie, your marriage ending, your child’s poor grades or not working that extra few hours to meet a deadline for work.
We’ve all been in that place where we beat ourselves up for failing, not quite meeting the mark, giving up or not following through on commitments to ourselves or others.
Aside from the rare occasion that you become a victim and blame others or the world, you most likely spend a good part of your time wondering how you could be more efficient at being you.
I would like to relieve you by saying that efficiency is not a helpful goal when it comes to personal development.
When you’re trying to be better at being yourself (and life) you will often screw up and fail at it.
This is a natural part of improving and growing.
Like a child learning to walk, falling down is simply part of the process.
“Children usually do not blame themselves for getting lost.” – Anna Freud
Unlike a young child however, you have a developed a brain that tells you to expect more of yourself.
There is no right way to live your life or to be you. You’re process and progress as you continually develop as a human being are unique to who you are.
When you hold yourself to some standard beyond your own capability you set yourself up for a vicious cycle of disappointment and self-blame.
Even if you’re functioning and behave at a level well below your potential, blaming yourself won’t help.
Here’s what you can do…
Take responsibility for your actions, contemplate what isn’t working, slather yourself with self-compassion, and continue on.
Dr. Andra Brosh June 2nd, 2015