5 Gifts That Keep On Giving
We are well into the month of December, which means many of you are on the cusp or in the throws of the holiday spirit. I always find this time of year to be both challenging and uplifting as I try to balance the joy with the inevitable stress. I find myself being more moody and sensitive to others actions, which I can only connect to the heightened expectations of myself, and others during this time of year. I have to dig deep to match my super friendly bank teller’s chipper attitude when I just want to make a deposit and get out. I have to be mindful about reacting to a grumpy barista at Starbucks who clearly doesn’t want to be there, and is unconsciously taking it out on the customers. I have to breathe deeply when someone nabs a spot I had just circled the block to get. These are not easy things to deal with at any time, but somehow the holidays make it even more challenging.
As a Psychologist you would think that I have a built in capacity to maintain a sense of contentment and peace during this time (and always), but I have to work at it just like you. However, I do have some tricks up my sleeve that I find extremely useful in keeping my cool. I even consider this month to be a time of personal growth where I get to hone some of my “practices†that are always an ongoing project for me.
Here’s the deal…as you venture out into the world to buy presents, sit in traffic on the way to holiday events, and travel to see family, you have many gifts inside of you to draw on and share. These are truly the gifts that keep on giving, and ones that others will most likely re-gift.
5 Gifts That Keep On Giving
- Compassion – Compassion is a double duty gift because you can give it to yourself and to others. Compassion is the capacity to see beyond the concrete experience at hand by looking beneath the surface. As human beings we are quick to form judgments, and to make assumptions about others. Compassion means stepping back and taking in the whole picture. A grumpy sales clerk is not necessarily a “jerkâ€, he or she may have gotten some bad news that day. Being compassionate toward others is remembering that everyone is human just like you.
- Patience – The holidays are about abundance. More traffic, longer lines, and bigger crowds are combined with less time, less etiquette, and ultimately less patience. A lack of patience usually stems from unrealistic expectations or a sense of entitlement, and is connected with a lot of should’s. You might find yourself thinking “they should have more people working†or “they shouldn’t be doing construction during the holidaysâ€. The key to patience is acceptance, which allows space and flexibility when things don’t go your way.
- Gratitude – It’s amazing how we can forget to express gratitude during a time of extensive giving. Saying thank you or expressing appreciation is a natural form of human connection. Every person in the world wants to feel appreciated and recognized for who they are, and the things they do. Gratitude is a gift that will keep on giving because an appreciated person will feel good and then turn around and share those good feelings with others. People who work retail and consumer-focused jobs through the holidays are bound to feel overworked and underappreciated. A simple heartfelt thank you can ultimately make someone’s day.
- Generosity – Tis the season of giving, but sometimes we can have a Grinch-like mentality when we feel overburdened or stressed out. If you put on your giving cap every time you step into the world, and approach others with graciousness and benevolence, you will be offering a great gift to those around you. Let someone go in front of you in line if they seem in a hurry, ease someone’s stress by acknowledging their plight, or simply be mindful of how your actions affect others.
- Kindness – Kindness comes in as many flavors as ice cream. There are random acts of kindness, or kindness can come in the form of a smile or a nod of the head. Kindness opens the heart and paves the way for more connection and a deeper feeling of contentment. We all strive to be kind, but sometimes things get in the way and we forget. Remember that your kindness goes a long way, and can ultimately change the world.
Dr. Andra Brosh December 12th, 2012
Posted In: Love, My Experience, Relationships, Therapy, Wellbeing