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I’m preparing to go on a trip this week, which is always a kind of process for me. As you know, I think and write a lot about “journeys” and the process of getting from one place in life to the next. I’m always hyper-aware of the in between parts of any kind of travel, and I believe that leaving and arriving are secondary to what happens in the middle.
This got me thinking about how life is one big trip to nowhere. I think we all like to act like we have destinations and places we aspire to reach, but ultimately we never really arrive anywhere because we’re in endless pursuit of some illusory place that we want to be.
We tell ourselves that once we get to wherever we’re going we’ll be happy, satisfied, fulfilled, and content. Sometimes we get to a place in life where we feel all of these things, but then over time it’s again not enough, and we begin to want more.
This is an endless cycle of pursuit and disappointment leading to a feeling of futility and hopelessness. In other words, it’s a path to nowhere, and nowhere good.
I often find myself having an insatiable appetite for more, and I become overwhelmed with the belief that what I have isn’t enough.
This leads to a consistent state of hunger and craving for something better, different or more. It’s a treadmill to say the least, and I have to remind myself sometimes to slow down and digest where I am before deciding where I want to go next.
I find it helpful to pause and ask myself “What if this is it?” What if right now, in this moment, I knew there wouldn’t be anything more? Could I live with that? Would I survive?
The answer is always yes because the question grounds me in the fact that the aspects of my life that are most important to me (my health, my family, my friends, and my passions) satisfy my fundamental needs.
Anything else beyond these things will be icing on my life cake.
This question shifts my perspective from need to desire. In other words, I don’t feel like I have to grasp something more to feel complete. If I decide I want to aspire for something more, I know it’s from a place of desire and not necessity.
Ask yourself the question “What if this is it?” this week, and challenge yourself to learn the difference between your needs and your desires. Your needs are the fundamentals in life that you can’t survive without, and what you desire are the things that would enhance what you already have, but you could live without.
An important distinction to contemplate.
I relate a lot to this article. I recently decided to stop thinking about moving (to a new home or different state)– to just allow myself to be happy where I am right now. It was a powerful commitment. Moving or traveling will not give me the peace that I seek within myself, that’s something I can experience no matter what my physical surroundings. Thanks for the great reminder!
Thanks for your comment. I think about moving all the time too, but sometimes it helps me to dream and really get in touch with what I want in my present life. Just the idea that I can move if I want to frees me up both emotionally and psychologically.
This resonates a lot with me! In fact one of my fvorite ebooks is Leo Baobata’s “The little book of contentment” that touches on the same thing!
Hi Andra – I say by you at Emerging Women and wanted to read your blog. Love it! As far as the collective conscious goes, I posted a post very similar recently with a big painting that says “Slow”
For me, being in the digital world for a living has helped perpetuate this incessant need to flurry along, I have no doubt. It really is a conscious, day by day process of remembering that these moments right now, right here are ALL I HAVE. 