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With todays crazy world of internet marketing and social networking, finding a good therapist can be like finding a needle in a haystack.
It’s not unlike dating.
The amount of options can be overwhelming, and you need to dig through thousands of potential people to find “the one”.
As a seeker of therapy you are probably in a similar situation to someone seeking love; somewhere on the spectrum of eagerness and desperation.
Just like dating, being over eager can lead to hasty decisions, and desperation can land you in a “good enough” relationship with a therapist. When it comes to finding the right therapist, the fit directly correlates with a successful therapy experience so you want to do your due diligence.
If you’ve exhausted your options, and haven’t been referred or “fixed up” with a good therapist, here are some quick tips to make your search more productive and efficient.
- Just like with online dating, many people look for a therapist who is visually attractive before anything else. While you will have to look at this person from where you sit on the couch, looks are not the best criteria for finding a good therapist. So instead of focusing on the profile pictures, train your eye to look at more important things like years of experience, or specialties and training.
- When looking for a “soulmate”, many people make the mistake of focusing on things that might not be important in the grand scheme of a long term relationship. With a therapist, things like fee, geographical location, and office policies are not as important as this person’s characteristics. Your therapist’s way of being in the room is what will allow you to heal and maintain a good therapeutic relationship. These things would be more along the lines of warmth, reliability, empathy and eye contact.
- Similar to online dating, it’s not helpful to make judgment calls solely based on what the person is like on paper. You can’t possibly know if you will like someone unless you meet them in person. Go for several “first sessions” with a few different therapists to see how you feel in the room. It usually takes at least 3 visits to know if it’s a good fit.
- A common mistake with dating is the tendency to focus on what the other person has, as opposed to what you need. In looking for a therapist, you must identify what you are needing from this person to find a good fit. Are you needing immediate relief from panic attacks? Or maybe you are looking for a solid, healing relationship that can develop over time. Knowing what you want will help you narrow your choices down based on certain criteria of the therapist.
- Doing your homework before a first date makes everything go more smoothly. Do the same with your therapist search by digging as deep into the clinician’s credentials and training as possible. The more information you have, the more secure you will feel in making a good decision about who you want to begin working with. Don’t be afraid to ask direct questions, and to really get to know who will be treating you.
The therapeutic relationship can be one of the most important relational experiences of your life. Taking the time to do it right, and not rushing through the process will ensure that you find the right fit for you.
